There Is No Stage Five

Photodynamic therapy is a very promising treatment.  Though I wasn't excited to get my last MRI report, having very good options to pursue to help my body and immune system was *very* exciting.  The basic process is that the cancer cells are photosensitized with an infusion of indocyanine green (ICG), as well as direct injections into the tumor.  The cancer cells take up the dye, much like the contrast during an MRI.  The those cells are then exposed to different wavelengths of light both from the skin level, as well as fiberoptic probes.  The cancer cells then destabilize and the tumor becomes necrotic.   My naturopath works with two clinics (one in Mexico and one in Germany) that offer PDT, as well as many other complimentary therapies.  Those two clinics work very closely together, as well, the only difference being the German clinic has the ability to treat lung tumors more effectively than the Mexican clinic.  It is being researched in t...

With my 2019 diagnosis of leiomyosarcoma came a bit of knowledge about my liver.  I had several small hemangioma (a benign cluster of blood vessels that isn't uncommon) that were initially alarming, but then confirmed with more imaging to be hemangioma.  Alarm turned off.  Every scan though, my liver cried wolf.  ALARM Your liver!  Oh, it's ok.  ALARM Your liver!  Oh, that shouldn't be a problem.   Then came the last 3 scans.   The first MRI (beginning of 2021) showed growth of some of the hemangioma.  It isn't unheard of for them to grow, but it would be unusual.  I'd gotten pretty used to hitting the snooze button on the liver alarm by this point, too, and didn't think much of it. The scan also showed a small mass on my right back/waist.  We decided to do another MRI in 6 months and check on these areas.   Quick commercial break to explain why there were so many MRIs.  CT and PET scans are also common...

A few years ago, I was talking with my brother about diet changes I'd been working on with my naturopathic doctor.  I think we were talking about sugars, and he rather conclusively said, "Oh, it's like the house is already on fire, why pour gasoline on it?"  I don't think I had anything to say other than some sort of noise to acknowledge that, dammit, he was right.   Nasha Winters has a new book called Mistletoe and the Emerging Future of Integrative Oncology.  I just got it last week and my nose has been in it ever since.   The metaphorical fire came back as she writes: When someone has cancer, it is like a house is on fire.  You wouldn't go after a massive house fire with a handheld extinguisher.  Instead, you call professionals who come in, and then it gets ugly.  The firefighters break the windows, and they flood the house, and they get the job done.  They are effective.  Mission accomplished.  The fire is out, but the...

So much of my life with cancer has been opposition.  One of my favorite shirts says in very big yellow letters "HOPE IS DEFIANT" which I realize out of context could seem a little shitty, but here's the context:   (In the absence of hope) HOPE IS DEFIANT This is a blog for my story with cancer, not against it.  It's full of opposition and contradiction.  Learning about things I didn't even know were available to learn.  Making decisions I didn't know were mine to make.  A gratefulness for something that, nearly by definition, I should be terrified of killing me, but which instead has made me more alive.  I won't go so far to say I love having cancer, let's be real, but I do love and appreciate the life I have because of cancer.   I was first diagnosed with a very rare type of cancer called leiomyosarcoma in January of 2019.  Because it's rare, there isn't a huge amount of information about it.  More common maladies effect more ...