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Showing posts from July, 2024

Make your own star stickers

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I feel increasingly lucky to have the paths between the feet of tall trees to go for walks. It's moving meditation. Heart-shaped things on these walks have become my breadcrumbs. I'll find them like an acknowledgment, a sly little wink, before they change shape as I pass and the heart transforms into just two leaves, just the bark of the tree, just a rock in the trail, just a slippery footprint. It’s a sweet little yes. Yes, this is exactly where you should be. Yes, I see you. Yes, you saw me. But if I look back at it, my perspective is different, and the heart isn’t there anymore. It’s only…forest. Just because it isn’t, doesn’t mean it wasn’t.   It’s one of my favorite things. I had new scans in June, so at my last chemo appointment, in a most unceremonious way, a new-to-me nurse practitioner reported that my scans were stable and bloodwork looked perfect. Not even a trophy, and even a certificate of participation.   Stable and shiny is so fucking hard fought.   I’d had the M